.......Lately

Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain

Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

Life as a working Momma is hard.  I feel like I need to mourn the loss of being a stay at home Mom.  Lately nothing has stayed the same so I hear myself sing these song lyrics over and over again.  Especially when my baby cries as I have to leave her, so I can go to work.  The first day after work when I went to pick Halley up, I will  never forget the hug she gave me, I did not realize how strong a 2 year old little girl could be, squeezing me so tight.  I don't think she realized how much she loved until she saw me rescuing her from the chaos she now knows as pre school.  I could barely hold back the tears as she was saying "miss Mommy"  I never imagined daycare would be that hard for both Me and my Daughter.  I realized that my love for kids was way stronger than I thought.  I found myself texting and calling the daycare at least every hour for the first week.  Thankfully with time its getting better.  Halley is now enjoying playing and doing crafts with her "friends".  Ava is doing great and couldn't love school anymore.  We knew she would do fantastic at school, shes always on top of her homework and a big help to her teacher, Mrs. Roy.  Next week I start volunteering one morning a week for her class and she is so excited!  I am feeling a little intimidated by 5 year olds, but am sure it will be fun.

 Our lives have changed so much in past year, sometimes I wake up forgetting who I am.  Life isn't always easy, but am making the best of it.  I do what I can with what I have.  Most nights my kids don't get a fancy meal that I spent hours preparing like we're used to, but as long we all eat together grilled cheese and soup from a can is just as filling and less of a mess, which means more time to spend with my awesome kids. It always takes time to get adjusted to new routines and there will always be a bump in the road, but with a good and loving additude I really feel like we can get through anything together as a family.